“In your anger do not sin.”
You’ve gotta be kidding! That’s impossible! When you get angry, it’s time to lash out at everyone. And yell and call them names. And show some temper. Maybe even throw a few things. After all, that’s the only way to get across to the other person that you are really angry.
Hold on. If, for instance, you told your child not to do something for their own safety but your child did it anyway, of course, you would become angry. Why? Your child put himself in danger because of his action.
You can choose to lash out at your child wildly so that your emotions mask your words. Or you can choose to talk calmly and explain the dangers your child was put in because of that action. Maybe punishment is in order. You can calmly but firmly tell them what their punishment is. You can calmly punish your child without losing your temper.
It is the same way with adults. If you lose your temper and shoot daggers with your eyes and rant and rave, all your actions distract people from your words. Aren’t your words of explanation more important than the emotionalism and yelling? If you were hurt, just say so. If they hurt themselves, just say so.
And with other adults, tell them how you feel, not how they feel; you don’t really know. Tell them what you want, not what they want; you don’t really know.
While we’re at it, not all words help. Name-calling does not help. Name-calling is done when you choose not to explain how you feel. Name-calling such as, “You’re irresponsible,” locks the other person in and sets them up for future failures between you and them. Losing your temper during anger gets you off the issue and into sin.
If I’m angry because it rained, I do not lash out at the rain. I calmly deal with it and go on with my life.
Next time you are angry at a person, try to remain calm and then explain the problem in tones they can truly listen to and learn from. If you have trouble doing this, practice when you’re alone. It will come to you in the right way. It will teach you to remain calm when you’re angry.
Anger is not the same thing as sin. What you do with it can be. Choose a calm anger. Thereby, you will have a peace that passes understanding.
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